Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
