he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize