Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
