But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
