About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
