So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
