Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
