My nipple is on Facebook.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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