I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
