before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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