I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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