If i come over, it means nothing
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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