Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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