They should really pass out barf bags in church
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
