if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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