a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
