i think my tv is drunk
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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