There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
