is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
as a side note pls kill me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
