Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
