The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
