Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
