I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize