Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
