one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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