no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
