Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
