I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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