office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
