Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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