...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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