It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
