Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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