the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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