That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
