Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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