ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
