Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i will never coherently bang her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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