I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
