his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You don't make any sense
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