By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She needs sedatives and a leash
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
