how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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