what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
