i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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