Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
