I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
