sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
