So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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