Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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