Whod you bang
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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