I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
