I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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