I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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