Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
