Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There r osticjed everywhere
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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