wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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