I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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