Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
