hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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