Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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